Business Psychology
Business Psychology
Victor Lee! A Lived Experience!
Success, wealth, and status are supposed to be armor, but for many, they become a cage. You are surrounded by the signs of achievement, yet you have never been more alone. You retreat behind walls of privacy and “professionalism,” but you cannot escape the internal noise. No amount of applause or recognition can silence the truth of what is happening when the doors are closed.
Whatever our poison, intellect, status, and money are no match for substance use disorder. Our persona—the mask of the person we pretend to be—is a shadow of deceit fueled by what we dislike in ourselves. We use it to hide the parts we refuse to face, but here is the truth: people see us anyway. The cost of maintaining the mask is your physical, mental, spiritual, and relational freedom.
This trap is a snake consuming the wise and the unwise alike—our own intelligence is often what ensnares us. Transformation, unlike mere change, explores the blind spots: what we don’t know that we don’t know. We get to the “what’s so” about our lives by dismantling the stories we tell others and ourselves. This requires vulnerability—from the inside out. It is the difficult trade-off between exhausting control for authentic openness and isolation for true connection.
In my second year of recovery, my 6-year-old daughter was struck by a stray bullet while I was 3,000 miles away. Thank God she survived, but that moment was a collision with reality. I was doing “the right thing,” yet it took that “Gift of Desperation” to forge a commitment that led me to single parenthood and a life of purpose I never would have pursued.
Desperation is the most honest energy you possess. It is the “by any means necessary” drive that you once used to survive; now, it is the only thing that will allow you to transform. Don’t look past what you are already experiencing; cracks break dams.
I had the privilege of working as a design drafter in Aerospace engineering on the Space Shuttle Orbiter 102 & 103, the F-111 & F-16, the Intelligence Satellite, and the Apache Attack Helicopter. These high-pressure achievements were impressive, but they were no shield against my addiction. It is a compelling history, but as one of my teachers, Les Brown, says, “Use-to-bees don’t make no honey.” You cannot survive on the position or the reputation you had while your life is currently at risk.
—You do not have to lose anything more—
Let’s go to work on someone great, YOU!
Transformation is like going through the eye of a needle, and you’ll want to quit. My job is to talk you off the ledge.
The moment you take the mask off, the sooner you will be able to accept what you are denying. That will be a great start.
Everything that has made you successful cannot help but where you are unwilling to budge. You can’t be where you’re unwilling to go.
“Your life is in what you are hiding.” The game you are playing is too small for who you really are, and it is killing you”.
This will require the level of loyalty you gave your disease and more, and it will cost you a whole lot less.
You must be willing to give what you want. Respect me, your family, and yourself. No one else is coming; you are the one.
Truth be told, we don’t have a substance problem; we have an “us” problem. Forty years ago, I was “greasier than a restaurant mop,” yet I couldn’t see it. Truth alert: I didn’t want to see it because I was not done. Carl Jung said, “There is a conflict between the ego and the true self. They are pulling against each other. We are what we do and not what we say we do.” By taking this on, you aren’t losing yourself; you’re finally meeting yourself. Transformation is about peeling away the layers that are not you. It is a radical shift to acts of honesty that replaces the “Decision Maker” that has been robbing you of the power you hold to transform your life right now!
Transformation Requires Setting Non-Negotiables
Now, choose! Tomorrow is not promised.
Now, choose! Tomorrow is not promised.
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